BRATISLAVA TODAY

This is what my hometown looked like today. If u wanna know more read the next post.

UNIMPORTANT DAY

Today is so unimportant for me. Well there are other days that are unimportant, but today is special because everyone considers it important and very significant. Today is the day of the Bush-Putin summit in Bratislava. Everyone is so confused with what to do... to celebrate, to talk about our very progressive country or to analyze international problems that were solved today. Well I, unlike the others, am bored and soo lazy (lol). For me the summit means traffic jams all over the city, closing all my favourite pubs (because they're in the 'red zone') and people everywhere celebrating the long awaited highlight in slovak history. I hate it. If they want to meet why don't they just meet in Moscow or Washington? Why do they have to discuss their problems HERE? Well... anyway... I don't care... but still I'm sick of all the people (aged 16 to 90) waving slovak/american/russian flags over their heads. Do they really know what is this all about? I think not! They only know that it's 'good for us' and that is enough to cover their needs. It's sad that whole society can be controlled this way... only by telling them that something IS good... well... really sad.

LONELY THOUGHTS (PART SEVEN)

This may sound weird..but I feel good. I feel relaxed, I regained my 'spiritual' energy. I'm chilled out (lol)... I realized that the things I really cared about are insignificant and unimportant... I decided nto to work so hard, to leave some of my ambitions for future time and to enjoy my life a little bit more. Now I don't care about school, work or even my danceing. I'm totally flegmatic. Why should I care? Where does it get me? Nowhere :-) ... I don't know where this (great and important :-) ) change took place, but suddenly I feel like I have everything important under control and I don't need anyone to help me. I'm doing well... and I hope you guys are doing well too (hi to gabique, sima, maja, miso, misa, petris, gabis, milis, juris, klaudus, monika, sue, kate, peta, ondro ...if I forgot someone forgive me... I'm writing this in a little tired state of mind :-) ...I love u all... (I can't believe I'm not pessimistic)...also greetz to all the readers that do not comment (i know that there are not many of you...but anyway hello...!) ...

POISONED PILL

Poisoned dart, poisoned flowers
darkest knight, running hours
candlelight, in the drawers
out of sight, little liars

Motion flow, answer hidden
i don't know, no decision
heartbeat low, chained in prison
time down slow, blurry vision

Let this be, it never will
no priority, perfect thrill
ancient sanity, close to kill
deep infinity, deadly pill

LONELY THOGHTS (PART SIX)

(dunno if anyone reads this crap -except of Misa/thanx-) but anyway...i'm... so exhaused, tired..life made me lose all my ideals, my energy and my mind. In fact it wasn't life...It was me (but let's call it life not to blame myself)I am really annoyed, I'm fed up with this system (generally), why can't we be FREE? Just for one day? One @#$!! day! When you have problems people always say: 'Hey, you've got a great day waiting for you tomorrow!'...Well that's the most stupid thing I've ever heard. Tomorrow is ALWAYS MUCH MUCH WORSE than the previous day. I think I'll end up somewhere in hell going down this fast (lol). Anyway I think that all this is a sign for me that one chapter in my life has been written, and there is nothing more to write about. It's like a soap opera now... Still the same with small changes (and really boring). And lately I feel like a new page was being written. Like if there was a light in the end of the tunnel after all... but it's still very blurry. I don't know what I want...but maybe someday (in time)...I will find my way back to the life i lived 'ages' ago...and maybe finally I WILL be happy and less hypocritic, self-centered, egoistic, stubborn and stupid. Phew...enough of this...

SILENCE

Silence
silence
hold your breath
hold your arms tight
make no step

Silence
for this restless power
your truth
your desire

Silence
do not dare to think
cover yourself
with invisible ink

Silence
hear the whispered words
they say:
hit me where it hurts!

PERFECT HAIR

This is a hairstyle which took a really long time to be made. ..It was designed for a dance competition (it was done by the dance partner of the girl on the pic)... He had to be really patient lol... Anyway the hair was so firm that even beating it with my fist didn't change its look (!). And by the way it IS a real masterpiece..I think...in the background u can see all the equipement used... Hard work isn't it?

EYES ON ME

All eyes on me
staring with no sign of interest
never moving
frozen they look and see

All eyes on me
confusing every single thought
beating me back to the ground
frozen they are meant to be

All eyes on me
incomplete in every way
still they know what i want to say
These eyes I see.

THE GROWTH OF ANGER

I woke up today. Got out of the bed. Slowly washed my teeth and face (and everything else), had a shower... everything wen just fine. Then I realized that I wasn't actually off to school, because I had found (in my little tiny secret diary for keeping my life up-to-date) that I had to go see my doctor. Ok ...that's no problem (no school=no problem)...so at about half past nine I entered the waiting room (I came earlier to make sure I'm the first one waiting because I had to go to work after the appointment). At about half past ten came the nurse and said that the doctor's gonna be delayed (about 15 minutes).. ok..I said...but at HALF PAST ONE the doctor still wasn't there and I was still waiting there (i tried several times to persuade the nurse to give me the therapy without the presence of a doctor but it was useless...she said she had no permission to do that and blah blah...)... so I stood up (because I start work at two)...and as I dressed up THE #!?$&! DOCTOR enterer the waiting room eating a hot dog. I said... Where have you #!%$! been? And she didn't even answer. Arrrrgh! So I had no choice but to leave and go to work. This was: 5 HOURS SPENT IN A WAITING ROOM OF A STUPID DOCTOR ...GOOD FOR NOTHING! I hate today... (this is the perfect system of slovak healthcare)

WHITE BEAUTY

This is a true masterpiece standing in the middle of a chinese garden. I admire this one, because it makes me feel calm and compsed. And all the trees and bushes are such a great background. I love it!

ANOTHER DAY DEVOTED TO HIGH SOCIETY

Well I woke up this morning and realized, that today I have to make a peformance at a very-prestigeous-snobbish-ball. I hate to dance in front of those rich celebrities. Watching them as they talk about NOTHING and make money from that makes me sick. These balls are not about enjoying yourself... no... it's a presentation of your new plastic surgery, priceless clothes, fashion trends... It doesn't have any real meaning and still people pay loads of money to manage these balls. Hey! Look it's her! The woman from the tv show! Oh... I don't care. Sooner or later she'll die like we all will, maybe sooner (because of taking drugs to make her slim). Hey! And that's the owner of Get-Rid-Of-Your-Money corp. ...he's soooo rich... (and sooooo poor)

NOTHING IN PARTICULAR

A really nice picture of a forest. i don't really know where it was taken, and I don't even want to know. It's not important. I wanted to post this picture because I also like abstract art, and this is somehow abstract (there is nothing interesting there), but it has its own atmosphere - the contrast between the light and the shadow. I like it lol.

A LITTLE GOOD FEELING

A nice picture from Final Fantasy 8... my favourite... reminds me of how small we are. Of the insignificance of all the people. Everyone is so tiny... and looking at this picture makes me feel so forgotten. You wouldn't believe, but it's a great feeling. (I get this feeling when I stand on a really high mountain looking on all the ground beneath me)... We need this feeling to stop us from climbim high in the skies with our thoughts... to keep us on the ground level... so NOW!...!!! eveyone look at it... so I can make sure all of my readers are ok... (lol)

LONELY THOUGHTS (PART FIVE)

I'm sitting here on my greyish chair in the middle of my room in front of a screen poisoning my eyes with ultra-hyper-idontknowwhatkindof-waves coming out from the colourful glowing rectagle writing a post to my blog but my thoughts are empty and i have nothing left only to write what is currently on my mind and that is something that can't be expressed by words but anyway i'll try ...so i just want to live somehow else because my life is all scheduled - at that time do this and a few minutes later do that... i just don't wanna live like that... wanna be spontaneous, wanna be impulsive... i'm a slave to my own world i have created... created only to assure myself that i am independent... but in fact independence was lost with this world... i depend on time, i depend on ...everything... can i change it? of course i can... funny i can't find out how... maybe i should just leave everything behind and start a brand new life... but that would be too difficult.. i'm too lazy and proud to do that.. i cannot be helped... maybe... i know that this is hard to read but this is the way i think... chaotic... isn't it?