THINGS WE CAN'T HAVE

People are addicted to things they can't have. That is generally known. Even with this information I still need to have things I can't have.. or to be more precise people I can't have. It's strange.. but why should I try and try again to achieve a goal that can't be achieved. Is it because I just need something abstract to look forward to? Something that keeps my life going on and makes it beautiful? I don't think unreal things make life good because when you realize that you live for your unreal ambitions you just lose your 'spirit'. I feel like I have made it to the state when I can't do anything, I just sit and watch what's happening in front of me. I just keep trying on and on... and I know that I'll never get where I want. It's so hard to give up.

SHE WILL TAKE

These eyes know everything
you can see the words
flowing in and out
these eyes know how to sing
you can hear the words
showing they can shout

Light and dark
confused by presence
linking thoughts
evanescence

Present, past
return to whenever
losing trust
not so clever

CH:

She will take me
for I know her
she'll engrave my name
on a piece of stone then burn it to dust
She'll forsake me
the time has come
she'll cut my veins
then pour the blood until she has it all

Red and white
blood on the bedsheets
silent night
beauty - she sleeps

Love and hate
singing together
they are late
almost never

(CH)

a song i wrote today :)

JUST A PHOTO

a nice photo showing my best friend...
[click to enlarge]

STEALING THE STARS

I can still see the things only we could see
the same strange feelings left in me
taken from the minds drowning in the sea
to those who want to be free

Stealing the stars from your pretty eyes
looking for something that would light my nights
looking for hope, for the one that dies
because each part of my mind cries

I will never be the same again, the spirit has been taken
the mechanism has been broken
the words of fate have been already spoken
there is no fire left to be frozen

Stealing the stars from the darkest streets
only for myself, to support my needs
I don't care if anybody lives for these
the stars are mine so leave me in peace.

TO BE OR NOT TO BE

These days are making me commit suicide. I can't believe how hard it is, when everything goes wrog. It's okay that some things get on the wrong way sometimes, but I wasn't expecting everything to collapse at once. My family, school, even my friends and some of my dreams and ambitions. I'm so mixed up from the inside that I can't even tell if I'm happy or sad no more. Why do people give up so easily? I'm so close to giving up everything. I can't take the tension no more. It's because I have destroyed a friendship... a great friendship.. but I found out, that it wasn't so true after all. It was about nothing but envy and hatred... so I told her to fuck off... and since then I didn't speak to her. I hate silence, but I just can't find words when it comes to speaking. At that moment I would only say insults and I don't want to start another quarrel. At least I found out that she doesn't care for me, not even a little bit. She wasn't even shocked by my behaiour and now she's smiling at all her 'friends' and probably they are discussing topics about my weirdness etc. I HATE THEM!!! At least I still have my BEST friends who will always cheer me up... (LOVE Gabi, Sima, Maja and also my net-friend Misa)... This is not the only thing that pissed me up in the past few days... but I don't want to be too personal here... (who reads this crap anyway? right?)...

THE SINGER

Lay down on the ground
pretend you're not breathing
maybe then you'll kill the sound
of all the people speaking

Stay there until you see them go
when gone take a deep breath, grab your things
then run to places you don't know
don't listen to to what the singer sings

They only want you to lose your way
so they can use you for anything bad
they'll tell you exactly what to say
then take everything you had

Lay down on the ground
motionless, forever
if they catch you moving
you can't escape, never

Lay down on the ground
don't listen to the song
the singer sings about you
and that IS WRONG!